Saturday, April 30, 2005

Mera Parichay

Gosh I like describing myself. I can talk about me endlessly and still don’t get bored.
I am simple, complicated, honest, dishonest, lazy, hardworking, selfish, selfless, compassionate, and cruel at the same time. Confused! Don’t be for it does not fucking matters to you how I am and what I like. Still I would like to put some crap over here.
I am always subjected to a full supply of sharply varying moods. I love my privacy and like brooding alone but at the same time I love talking and listening to people. But I have this weird habit of speaking to myself. No one might know this but I speak to myself a lot hence I never get bored. In fact whenever I am off mood or I am very happy then I would require my friend, my other self for me. For my other self is the only person who listens to my stories my views, my ideas my crap relentlessly without blinking an eye. Of he criticizes me then he also appreciates me. People might often wonder how I can spend so much time alone but no one knows that all the time I have my special friend. O’ h I have seen many of my friends claim that they don’t like to lunch or dine alone or they can not got to KLS canteen alone or for that matter they need a friend to accompany them to wherever they go. In fact I can even go to a movie alone. Ohh God has been very harsh on them. God should have given them an inner self like mine so that they are free from the misery of staying alone.
I like staying alone and I don’t like people interfering in my privacy. I believe that every one is like a runner with his own track to run and there is no reason why others should interfere in my track. I know that some people might think me that I hate speaking and at the same time there are people who will cite I speak a lot of rubbish. I hate ostentatious people, who have opinion about anything and everything under the sun, traveling for sightseeing, shopping, and too much intellectual talk and worrying. I like being alone, eating delicacies, knowing people better, planning ahead of everything, few computer games( but play them avidly). I don’t like things to be too fast and furious but rather prefer them to be slow and steady. I like following my own passions and I do not get influenced by how other people live. I am patriotic in my own way because I criticize my country’s affairs a lot because I would like to see my country improve a hundred times. I am religious but at the same time I believe in religious tolerance since everything religion has its own worth which any other religion of world cannot compete with. I hate fundamentalists of all religions. I am a movie buff, at least one movie everyday and I like watching the movies alone sitting in front of my computer with my legs stretched and put over the computer table. I like reading although I don’t read much. I am not passionate about music but I like hearing to specific numbers over and over again.
“Our doubts are traitors, And make us lose the good that we oft may win, By fearing to attempt “. How true are these words of Shakespeare? I try to follow his policies most of the times. So don’t I fear any thing? Of course yes mortals need to fear to live. Here are few of things I fear most.

· I fear snakes. Although I have killed many a snakes I still fear the viper than any thing in this world. The silky, shiny body of a snake makes me go into convulsions of fear. My head goes blank when I imagine it sround. This is one reason I dislike rainy season a lot because it this time when all the “ bill “ of the snakes are filled with water and they often come outside when the sun comes out to bask. Just a few days back I dreamt of a snake in my dream and ended up waking up shouting panting for breath. Such is the fear of snakes for me that whenever I see the venomous being even in a T.V I shudder with hysteria and try for solace. SNAKEOPHOBIA that is what it is called. My wildest and scariest dream is marooned in an island full of snakes!!!!!!
· I fear myself!!! Why I don’t know? That is one reason I don’t like people who I feel are close to me. I have heard that people like people who are very similar to them but I don’t like people who are very similar to me. It then makes me wonder how people cope up with me. I would rather spend time with an idiot then spend time with someone who has a nature very close to me. I have experiences some persons and obviously I have never been able to befriend them totally.

This is just the beginning. Keep visiting the site to read more about my life through my blogs. I will make additions to them time and again.