What can God do it's so hot !

God wakes up at seven, feels the heat of the sun stealing in from the window. Feels flustered. Wants to sleep more but can’t because of the heat. Wakes up and drags himself to the door to find the newspaper missing, Feels agitated again for unknown reasons, he had stopped reading newspaper after his interview, still strangely enough walks up to the door to search for the newspaper every morning. God shouts out loud to his half slept roommate that the idiot has not the delivered the newspaper even today. His roommate does not bother to respond back. He is too busy sleeping like a donkey.

What can God do its so hot !

Its 8 and God has brushed up . Thinks of going for this break fast to the nearby dhaba who delivers rock solid idlies in watery sambar.God chooses instead of making some coffee for himself, but finds the cup smelling eggs which God had used to making omelet two days before. God curses his maid. God has to go back to the water sambhar,but then changes his plan and thinks of going to the gym. Packs up and then suddenly goes to the bed to take a breather and soon finds himself sleeping. He sleeps perspiring heavily along for 2 hours, waking up suddenly realizing the India Bangla match must have started. Sees his roommate watching Asianet channel, Calls him maddu and what not and asks him to put on the match, which his roommate obliges strangely. God does not feel right. He wanted a banter with his roomie.

What can God do its so hot

Seeing sehwag already departed, with Dhoni playing like Dravid. Feels bored swaps channel to find Maywati happy in one of the news channel vanquishing her fellow politicians. Feels indifferent and finds Renuka Sahane teaching cooking in NDTV profit. Feels agitated at the appropriateness of such a serial , wants to to discuss with his room mate, who has again gone to sleep. God wants to wake him up but feels lazy, instead swaps to Start One with yet another great Indian laughter challenge episodes, with idiots narrating jokes which can only be termed as Pj’s among mature human beings. God is brimming with agitation and boredom now, comes back to cricket sees Dhoni and Yuvraj gone and finds Dinesh Mongia batting with his shots coming at angled bat. Feels indifferent again and swaps channel to see Tanushree Dutta with her thunder thighs in the movie ‘Good Boy and Bad Boy’ , feels turned on but his mood is spoiled by the red haired , Emran Hashmi. Confirm himself that Hashmi is gay and Tushhar Kapur is a dead man living. God is effused with boredom. God swaps to another channel, to come across the information, that India exports software to 100 countries across the globe and finds the hot host interviewing some blue eyed youngster , who all respond that they want to become software engineers. God is reminded of his own days in school when he was attracted by the artificial comfortable life of software engineers. God throws up.

What can God do its so hot!

Its 12 and God decides to eat. Fills himself with lot of rice , detesting the curries at the same time, at the nearby Andhra Dhaba and then promises himself to hit the gym in the evening to eat up all the calories brought up by rice. God is determined not to eat rice for a week more but knows his stomach would not agree to such plans made by his brains. God comes back with an ice-cream, his stomach has forced him to win over his brains once again. God is furious at himself having eaten the ice cream which stores up as much calories as running for 16 mins. God throws up hoping that his metabolism rate will take care of the ice cream

What can God to its so hot!

God comes back to his room. Thinks of sleeping. God has hardly slept for 15 mins , when he receives a call at 2:30 from a lady whether God was interested in the new hutch scheme. God is angered because of three reasons

Why does the evil women have to call God on holiday afternoons when God likes to sleep

Why was the evil woman speaking in Telugu?

Why is so damn hot everywhere ?

God hangs up the phone. God should save God now, he is brimming with agitation and anger. He needs solace.

What can God do its so hot!

God decides to provide some respite to himself from the the uneventfull drab day, God decides to blog, and then he realizes that he has nothing on his mind to blog. In such an restless state of mind , God closes his eyes and starts typing whatever he can think of. In between the pop up comes affront.

“Windows is finished downloading the updates, do you want to restart your computer for the updates to take affect.”

God clicks the restart now button and finds whatever he has written, has gone gone away unsaved.

What can God do its so hot!

Sunday afternoon Bheja Fry! Read at your own risk

Before reading the blog, one humble declaration - This blog is not directed against any sector of community. Telugu is a national language, and it is as much mine as it is of any person who speaks it.

College ke is paar Hum duniya ko nachate hai

College ke us paar Duniya Duniya hume nachati hai

And thus spoke Amir Khan prophetically in Rang De Basanti!

Well I won’t say I danced to the tunes of life after college but things have definitely changed after college.
The last two years have been defining to the world in every sense of word. It has been the time when Himesh Reshammiya became a sensation from nowhere, a stupid old man Arjun Singh became the topic of abuse among the whole student fraternity, Aishwariya and Abhishek got married and India just coninued it’s string of failures in every sport. But more importantly I began working in an alient land.
I gave CAT in 2004, but even getting a 98.43 percentile with above 96 percentile in each section, I dint get a single call which kept me puzzled for a long time after I left college. I kept asking myself, what would have happened if I had not done that mistake. But if I look back now, that was the best thing that happened, because probably I would have taken that my next degree as another degree, but the break from the student life was a welcome breath of fresh air. And I definitely would enjoy my next phase of college more knowing how much I missed it after I started working. I must admit at the same time that I learned quite many things in last two years.
1) I understood Evadu, Ustunnava and Cheppandi ! I got calls at strange time with some telugu bastard yelling at me at 4 AM in telugu when the last night I had been drunk like a sponge. Some times this is how the conversation went

Telu Bastard: Evaddu
I (sleepy): Kya hai be!
Telu ( now yelling harder) : Evaddu!
I : Abey kya hai chu**** bolega bhi
The fool handing over the phone to somebody who repeats the same holy word Evaddu as if I did not understand the word when it was spoken by the previously person.
I loosing my patience hang over with some other profanity.( Sorry telugu idiot, I was drunk :D !)

2) If you are a north or east Indian staying in Hyderabad, strangest thing to strike you would be to find kadiya patta , in every thing. And by every thing I would mean every thing, even Chicken curry. God bless them!
3) In your office you probably would have got your skin thick seeing people conversing in the regional dialect even in important meetings leaving you to your own risk to understand it. But any ways who ever hears any thing in meetings [:)].
4) I converted from a pious brahmin who thought drinking a sin, to a sponge who yearned for weekends to arrive, in order to enjoy my weekend booze indulgence. Interestingly my same humble self who used to scorn at people who used to puke, commenting why do people drink so much, when they cant digest it ! Now I know the answer.
5) I finally understood what teamwork stood for. Team work stands for getting your work done with the help of your team at any cost [:)]
6) I understood why managers become mangers. I recall a conversation avidly
· Manager : Why had been that thing lying for so long
· I: XYZ, I dint know how to do that thing.
· Manager: you should come to me , when you face with an issue
· I: sure will take care the next time along

Next time :

Manager : Hey I am a little busy, why don’t u look that thing up yourself ,
you are a smart erson who can surely find that out.
I to myself : I love you sir! I learnt the most important trait of a manager today[:)]
7) There were two questions fow which I could not find a suitable answer thingking enough -

a) Why do all the good chicks get engaged with most fucked up assholes in the world?
b) Whom would I rather sleep with if given an opportunity – Kareena or Priyanka!

Difficult question are’nt they ?